09.20.05
its raining…
yes, its the weather again…
… i dont really want to dwell on regrets. and im wise enough to realize that sometimes some things are left to chance and fate. perhaps it was fate’s doing that i wasnt able to go home and you were. but i cant stop myself from regretting my decision not to push through with what my instinct was telling me. now i know why i felt restless and depressive last weekend. i was missing something…
… the semester’s drawing to an end. cant believe that ive been teaching in the university for a semester already. it seems like just a few days ago when i was working shifts in a call center, selling phone plans to people oceans away. phew! i survived! i didnt really have the confidence when i started out on this job. but so far, things have been okay, i guess. yeah, the workload is greater than my former teaching job, but im trying really hard not to complain. i cant afford to be burned out this early in this job. besides, im still at the stage where i value every piece of work, every assignment given to me for the experience. so yes, hopefully, ill still be here for sometime.
… going back to YOU, im sorry for the bother. I know that YOUr highly medical, rational mind cannot quite grasp my persistence and obsession (if that’s how you view it), but yes, allow me this sweet torment. this too shall pass…but if it doesnt, dont worry. you may continue to be a persistent memory to me, but i shall fade away as another nameless face in your mind. when YOU finally find her (which i think you already did), im going to be as inconsequential as the dust in your eyes. 
