10.17.05
rainy days agen…
yes, its raining again these days. 
but ive got a new reason to smile. in fact, im more than just smiling. i feel beautiful these days. a very good friend of mine delivered a very good message last weekend that made up for the depression ive been feeling the past few weeks. in fact, her news was a big consolation for me, a ‘redeemer’ of sorts. it was a ’saving grace’ for me. it was his loss after all, not mine. now i know there’s something wrong with YOUr eyes, and ive indeed proven that the wisest of men may be the most foolish in love. i know YOU’re happy with her. i don’t have the right to judge, but i sincerely hope you’ll find the happiness and the love i was never able to provide (which you certainly didnt want to accept in the first place).
… everyone’s gone off for sembreak. im the only one stuck here (plus a couple of friends) and the whole place gets depressingly lonely without the usual student buzz. im wondering if i can fake a good excuse for an early vacation (which i doubt) just so i can take a break. still, several bucks of deduction from my already meager salary counts a lot when you look at it. so i guess im just going to stick it out here and wait for the work to get done and finally, finally, ask for a few days of leave. i miss my family terribly (which is so ironic because when you’re at home, you can’t wait to go away). but absence makes the heart grow fonder, and when i think about the food and the meals and gimmicks and the unlimited movie marathon i get to enjoy every evening—-well, nothing beats a day at home. plus, i get special treatment (which lasts only for a couple of days) because ive been away for so long. well, i also want to explore my beloved hometown and meet with friends, share stories and yes, roam the city on the off chance that ill see YOU and probably strike up a brief conversation. (god! i need to really get over this whole thing!)
… a week and a half. i cant wait to go home! right now, im not even looking forward to the next semester. just between you and me, i dont give a heck about the next sem—no, revise that. i dont want to think about the next semester just yet. i just want to go home, indulge in free food, free movies, free computer use, free everything.
