01.28.06
the sequel
a very nice friend read my previous entry and asked me about the things i wouldnt "escape" from if i encounter them. that question put me on the spot, because it made me think, really think about the things that im brave enough to face when it’s there, staring at me right in the face. i thought, are there even things im brave enough to face, things i wouldnt escape from? it made me question a lot of things– my sense of "courage", my strength, my will, my fears. ive been thinking, and here’s the answer…
… if you ask me between a high-paying job (you know what im talking about— skycrapers in the city, air-conditioned offices, power suits) and a lowly job in the academe, i would chose the latter. i wouldnt escape from the ultimate satisfaction one gets in working with students, shaping their minds, influencing their lives. yes, the work may be a drag every now and then, but to see a life bloom and grow right before your eyes is a magical experience. i wouldnt escape from the fulfillment one gets in seeing one life learn from you and your own wisdom.
… i wouldnt escape from my responsibilities (even if i sometimes wish i could) because these things make me who i am. they shape me, hone me and make me the kind of person i am today. the weight may be too much, but when you look at it, these responsibilities were given to me because im the person who’s perfect for the job. it means i can do it, people trust me, and (yes, the expectation may be high) im the only one with the power and the capability to do the work.
… i wont escape from love when i see it. im going to embrace it and feel it, and wrap the whole experience around me. i wont be afraid to say the words, just because they’re corny or out of place or because society doesnt allow it. i wont escape from YOU just because YOUr memory brings tears.
… i wont escape from a chance to write my own story, even if its a tragic tale, for tragedy can put a smile and a hope in others own story.
… on a lighter tone, i wouldnt escape from a bottle of beer, or a "truth-or-dare" session with friends. i wouldnt escape from an eyebrow-raising pricetag the next time i go shopping ( haha!!! i can afford something as expensive as Gucci or Louis Vuitton). i wouldnt escape from any opportunity to go abroad (even if its an NGO work in a "poor as rat" district in Asia). i wouldnt escape from a chance to star in my own film or pose as a model for one billboard along EDSA. 
i wouldnt escape from a doctor who drops at my feet and offers me a ring and asks me to spend a lifetime with him (this is the ultimate fantasy, one which would never come true. but come on, indulge me, ok?). hehehehehehe
Lourdes said,
January 28, 2006 at 11:16 pm
my dearest clarisse, this article is fun to read because it shows what makes you YOU.
but this is just the tip of the iceberg. let’s dig deeper shall we?
id like to know about this low-paying job in the academe that you speak highly of. what makes it glorious? you said shaping lives didn’t you? why don’t you share one instance when that happened? id be thrilled to read about the way you deal with students whom you believe are worth every drop of ink from your cheap, red pen.
strive to be clear in dreaming as well as in writing. this is the first step in making wishes come true. you must believe it’s real and then it’s easier for the wish to manifest itself.
what if we try putting the fancy words aside? the truth, with all its tragic and funny details, is more interesting anyway. you said your life is filled with that diba?
let’s search for the perfect verb that would bring to life your idea of embracing love? i want to read about feeling love-clarisse style.
lastly, i want to share one of my favorite quotes with you:
“the question asked my by the world daily is - WAS THAT ALL YOU WANTED?”
I eagerly await for part 3.