05.13.06

sunset

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:01 am by cla-uplb

i was watching the sunset (if you could even call it watching. i barely saw anything) in the storm-streaked sky. and i realized a few truths (there are a lot of ‘realizations’ these days, i tell you).

…we always do a little letting go in our life. as i turn a new leaf over with my approaching birthday, im letting go of all those old, beaten stuff in my closet — the teenage clothes, the box of high school gifts (mostly photo albums and picture frames i got from past birthday and christmas parties), and most of all, the dried petals of a white rose i so carefully preserved in the pages of one of my third year high notebooks. it was the representation of an old flame, a young love that is nothing but bittersweet; an old memory from a special friend who stopped-over in my life to teach me one of life’s mysteries. letting it go means letting YOU go (it’s amazing how i’ve managed not to talk about YOU in my entries here, until now). its a liberating feeling, and an acceptance of a reality i refused to accept before.

… likewise, im letting go of a beautiful friendship with HIM. im afraid it’s another heartbreak waiting to happen, and im getting out now before anything happens. okay, okay, its cowardice, girl. but we do a little ‘protecting’ of ourselves every now and then. besides, he’s like the wind — passing, fleeting, totally unpredictable. im looking for something that would stay longer than a changing season, something that’s not just ’stopping-over’. okay, longer enough to teach me another lesson in life and join me in the next lessons to come. and while he may be that kind of person, he’s not ready for it just yet. he has plans — a five-year plan that excludes any emotional entanglements. perhaps in time, he would be ready. but i’d be out of the picture by then.

… so, yeah, i have my family and a handful of trusted friends and my job and my laptop to keep me company in the next fiver years or so. by then, ill be a dried-up, old maid. hehehehe….

… we just let go. nothing’s permanent.

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