06.03.06
when a heartbreak happens
They met two years ago. He dazzled her with his smile and wit, starting a casual friendship between two strangers whose paths suddenly crossed.
From across the table, she’d watch him smile and laugh and talk. And deep inside, she’d wish that she can be as close to him as his other friends are to him. She’d wish she knows the things he’s doing, the things he likes and those which he doesn’t. She’d wish she can make him laugh and smile as much as he makes her smile and laugh. And she’d wish that they can go out on their own, and talk about the things that they dare not talk about. He seems to know her quite well, knows that she’s an achiever, a perfectionist, and has high standards. He knows she has lots of plans and wants to go abroad just like him. He told her once she’s hard to reach, and she wanted to make him realize that first impressions don’t last.
There may be lulls and pauses in their conversations, but it is in these moments that she enjoys the solitude of his company. Sometimes she’s worried that she may be boring him. There are a lot of things she’d like to talk about, but just doesn’t know if he’s interested to talk about them.
She’d like to ruffle his hair and touch his arm, link her fingers to his. She loves the way he looks at life, with such optimism she couldn’t ever imagine. She loves his passion for success, his drive, his ambition. She likes the fact that he has plans and that he knows what he wants in life.
And everytime he’d hug her to say good-bye, she lets him go with much regret. As she goes back to her reality, she thinks about the way he looked and his smile and laughter.
But she wouldn’t ever risk telling him how she feels. Experience has taught her to best keep the feelings locked. Rejection is such a harsh stamp of failure, and she couldn’t afford to lose his friendship.
And when he leaves to chase his dreams, she’d smile and say good-bye to him just like what any good friend would do.
