08.02.06

gift

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:47 am by cla-uplb

God works in mysterious ways. two days ago, i was fuming over a little misunderstanding with a friend. i was itching to confront him about the issue until he texted me himself. i never got around to confronting him, but we’ve reached an unspoken understanding. i guess it was better that way. had i given in to my usual stubborn, impatient self, i would have lost a friendship that im not ready to lose.

and then just yesterday, He gave me one of the best surprises of my life — no, its not a boyfriend, thank God! but suffice it to say that i finally achieved one of the many things in my to-do list for this year. this is my third time. and as what one friend said, everytime i write, i get to share a particular stage in my life. the first time was as a student, the second was as a woman, and the third as a professional. i never realized it until he told me that. and true enough, he’s right. the first experience was exhilarating, a big feat for a student struggling to prove something to her professors and to herself. the second time was a bittersweet sharing of one of the most powerful experiences in life. and the shared words were a testimony that i have grown, blossomed into a woman, a girl no more. and this time, well, this time is a testimony of my secret, idealistic dreams, of the force driving me like mad these days, enough for me to forget the emptiness of this heart. "this is where i thrive and grow…this is where im in my element."

i remember clearly how i dabbled with the keyboard of my laptop one very early morning when i couldn’t sleep. the words were coming out like spitfire and my fingers couldn’t type the words fast enough to capture them all on the screen. i didn’t even know what i really wanted to say. a conversation with a student earlier that day just kind of fueled me into writing about it. the next thing i know, i was sending it to the mail. several weeks later i saw it splashed in the daily.

how ironic that the ‘gift’ came at a time when this heart was just smarting from a harsh, ‘expected’ crash. perhaps, it was to compensate for the pain, the disappointment, the rejection. or perhaps, it was just plain coincidence.

He truly works in mysterious ways. We never know it, but He has a way of making us smile after such a heart-breaking loss…

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