01.16.09
cold
Since coming back to school this January, I feel like I’ve been living in a mega freezer. I keep complaining of course especially since I cant adjust the my room’s airconditioning. Outdoors, there’s a certain chill in the air, with the sky overcast and looking as if its going to rain anytime soon.
But secretly I love the cold. I love the feel of the wind whipping at my hair and face; I love the excuse to wear a sweater and layer my clothing. I love the feeling of being cocooned in something warm.
I love the numbness that the cold brings. I like how the cold numbs my face. I have an excuse to walk faster, unmindful of other people. I like the numbness that seeps into my body right through my heart where I don’t have to feel anything at all – no pain, no grief, and no joy either. Cold, stone cold. Such sweet relief.
I have an even greater excuse to just stay in bed and sleep and dream of a place where things are fine and dandy and definitely not cold.
